For those of you who don't know..

I have been wanting to start a blog for quite some time now and have just been scared that I might not know what I am doing or it might not make sense!lol Today I am on CD21 and 3DPO. I could not be more excited to see CHs on my chart..and solid at that. In a way I feel like this cycle has been the best so far. I feel like I am getting used to charting, taking temps, and our timing was pretty darn good this cycle! Wooo hoo! All in all though, I am not getting my hopes too far up. Last month was extremely hard for me, one of the worst yet. I would literally find out about "oopsie" pregnancies daily and it was definitely wearing on my soul. How do all of these girls get PG so easily and it is taking me and so many other girls on the GP boards so long when we want it so bad. The whole concept was really breaking my heart and I didn't know how much more I could take. I literally had a crying breakdown one day when I was off work. I went in our bedroom, sat on the bed and just wept for what seemed like 2 hours. It was good for me to finally break down and just admit that I was not as strong as I thought. Then I said a prayer, wiped my eyes and told myself I would keep going. From now on I made a promise to myself to find a positive in every month, even if its only one. I can't feel selfish anymore, and I have to be happy for the other women that are pregnant whether they "wanted" it or not. Everything happens for a reason. Like a friend once said to me "God just hasn't found the perfect baby for you yet, but he will." I truly believe that, and when I do become pregnant it will be a blessing and a gift from God.