Getting healthy..a better me!:)

So, I started the Metformin last week and today I bumped it up to two pills a day so 1000mg so far. Next week I will be taking 3 pills a day(morning, noon and night). Metformin is helping my digestive system already and my face is slowly but surely clearing up for the first time in a year.
I feel so much better having being diagnosed with PCOS- that may sound a bit crazy but just in a week I feel so much better...I just want to give my RE a big kiss for figuring out what I had and prescribing me the Metformin! I have already lost 5 lbs and my clothes are fitting soooo much better! Ever since the doctor said I was more prone to get diabetes, I really took that and ran with it-its almost like I needed that slap in the face...I have been taking alot better care of myself and my health.

Confession: I must admitt that this year has been very difficult for me, especially with TTC. I slowly put on weight, and I would get so depressed every cycle that I saw so many BFNs that all I wanted to do was pig out on junk food and beer!! I would throw my hands up at the end of every cycle and say "what the hell..what is wrong with me" Well, that whole train of thought did not do my body or my emotions any good.....slowly but surely I lost who I was as a person and let TTC consume my life.

Not only did 2009 bring a New beginning and a life change, it gave me the courage to change all my bad habits. Since I have been eating healthy, not drinking(which I used to be a huge social drinker and the life of the party) I feel soo much better. I don't crave junk food anymore and I watch every single thing that goes in my mouth. Before my mentality was..."should I eat this? will it effect me if I am pregnant...should I drink...drink till its pink...well maybe/maybe not- oh the hell with it" I used to Yo-Yo diet alot and that is very unhealthy.
NOW- I could even use the excuse of PCOS--my body turns insulin into fat and I can't burn it. Yes, it may be harder for me to lose weight but it isnt impossible. How can I be mad at my body anymore for not doing what its supposed to do, when I am not doing everything in my power to make it the best it can be?

I am doing it for myself and nothing else...I have just changed my way of thinking. Whether or not I am pregnant this month or it takes another year- at least I will know that my body is ready for it and I am in the best shape and health I could be in. I don't want to be the Mom that climbs a flight of stairs and gets winded. I don't want to have excuses why I am fat or why I am gaining weight and not caring. I want people to look at me and say "Daaaamn, look at her go!!" I want to be an inspiration for not giving up. I haven't given up on TTC so why should I give up on anything else that is hard. You only live once and you only have one body so take care of it.

This month I gave up charting due to my RE's advice..and I have felt at peace with everything. I am not concentrating on when I am getting my period, I know it will come sooner or later. I am so excited about being monitored and it takes alot of stress out of the whole process. It will happen, and I still have faith. God has helped me through alot of things this past year and I have learned some valuable lessons. You can't get mad for the things that you don't have, you have to be grateful for the things you do have. I will continue to pray for my health and our beautiful baby that is waiting to be with us.:) Here's to 2009!